How to Handle Mean Girls Without Losing Your Spark
Let’s be real: school is a mix of awesome moments and a few not-so-great ones. Friends can make your day amazing, but dealing with mean girls? That can be tough. Whether it’s snarky comments, gossip, or feeling left out, it’s important to stay confident and not let anyone dim your light. Here’s how you can handle it like the superstar you are.
1. It’s Not You, It's Them
When someone’s being mean, it’s usually because they’re dealing with their own stuff—like insecurities or needing attention. So if someone throws shade, remember: it’s their issue, not yours. Don’t let their bad vibes ruin your day!
2. Find Your People
You don’t need a huge group of friends to feel awesome. Focus on the ones who make you laugh, cheer you on, and make you feel like your best self. Having even one or two solid friends can make a big difference. Surround yourself with positivity—it’s like a shield against the mean girl drama.
3. Don’t Engage
It can be tempting to clap back when someone’s rude, but honestly? It’s not worth it. If you stay calm and cool, you show them they don’t have power over you. Walk away or say something simple like, “Okay, cool” and move on. They’ll get bored when they see they can’t get a reaction.
4. Boost Your Confidence
Mean comments can sting, but they don’t define you. Focus on what makes you you. Whether it’s being awesome at art, loving animals, or being a great listener, remind yourself of your strengths. Keeping a journal where you write down things you’re proud of can be a fun way to stay positive.
5. Talk It Out
If things get rough, don’t keep it bottled up. Chat with someone you trust—like a parent, teacher, or older sibling. They’ve probably been there and can give you great advice (or at least a solid pep talk). Dr. Cara Natterson, a pediatrician and author of The Care & Keeping of You series, always says that talking to trusted adults can help you feel supported when things feel overwhelming.
We know not everyone has a close relationship with their parents, and if that's you, you're never stuck. Our team of moms, experts and "Big Sister Ambassadors" are here to support you through any phase of your journey. Just email us at: support@cloudstate.co.
6. Be Kind Anyway
Here’s the ultimate power move: be kind, even to mean girls. You don’t have to be besties, but showing kindness shows you’re confident enough not to stoop to their level. Plus, kindness is contagious—you never know who might notice and follow your lead.
7. Focus on What You Can Control
You can’t control how others act, but you can control how you respond. Taking care of yourself—eating well, getting sleep, and finding activities you love—helps you stay strong inside and out. Confidence grows when you know you’re treating yourself well.
8. Remember: It’s Just a Phase
This part of life doesn’t last forever. Mean girl drama might feel like a huge deal now, but as you grow up, you’ll see how little it really mattered. What does matter is staying true to yourself and surrounding yourself with people who love the real you.
Your Turn: Take Back Your Power
If you’ve had to deal with mean girls, what helped you feel better? Whether it’s a playlist that makes you feel like a boss or tips from your favorite book (or soon-to-be favorite Cloudstate Magazine), share your ideas with a friend or write them down to help someone else.